“But at some point, it got to where it just wasn’t funny any more. Even the hardest of terrorist hearts can be moved to pity. As we watched the USA’s ever-worsening decline, and the accompanying decline of the West, our mocking laughter gradually subsided, and finally melted into tears of compassion. What’s happening to America is so damn sad, and hey, we’re human too. I mean, I’m practically sobbing right now just thinking about it. We feel for those poor Americans trapped in their increasingly moronic and decadent culture. And nobody symbolizes the moronic decadence of contemporary America quite like Taylor Swift. So we thought we could alleviate some of that suffering, and make life in America at least marginally more bearable, by blowing up Taylor Swift and some of the soulless plastic-brained utterly superficial human zombies who idolize her…the so-called ‘Swifties’ who, let’s face it, are none too swift, and really ought to be removed from the gene pool.”
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