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Thursday, June 23, 2022

A Russian explains the possible outcomes of joining the army:









Should you stay home and get married, or join the army?

 

I’ll break it down.

 

If you stay home, there ain’t shit to talk about. If you join the army, two things can happen.

 

One is that you come home to your parents. Two, you die on the battlefield.

 

If you live to come home, there ain’t shit to talk about. If you die, two things can happen.

 

One, you’re buried under a pepper plant. Two, you’re buried under a pine tree.

 

If you’re buried under a pepper plant, there ain’t shit to talk about. If you’re buried under a pine tree, two things can happen.

 

One, it’s cut down to make pencils. Two, it’s turned into paper.

 

If it’s turned into pencils, there ain’t shit to talk about. If it’s turned into paper, two things can happen.

 

One, it’s paper for schoolkids. Two, it’s toilet paper.

 

If it’s paper for schoolkids, that’s fantastic. If it’s toilet paper, two things can happen.

 

You're placed in either the men’s or the ladies’ room.

 

If it’s the men’s room, there ain’t shit to talk about. If it’s the ladies’ room, two things can happen.

 

One, it’s used to wipe the front. Two, it’s used to wipe the back.

 

If it’s used to wipe the back, there ain’t shit to talk about.

 

If it’s used to wipe the front, that’s no different from getting married.




2 comments:

lyle said...

Lyle in Cambodge,
My comment here is to point out the "Problem" with people in general.
Your post here Linh is a good example to point it out.
People only think or reason two dimensionally, it's either this or that,
Black or white, left or right, good or bad etc.
We live in a three dimensional world, we are three dimensional beings,
We can therefore think or reason three dimensionally.
When one only uses two dimensional thinking, a choice is made between
Two alternatives and the outcome is one dimensional, one has trapped oneself.
Even a coin has three sides if you care to think about it.
Long ago I flipped a coin and it landed on the third side (the edge if you need help),
It didn't fall over, with practice this can be repeated over and over.
We have to practice "three dimensional thinking", it opens us up to our potentialities.
Cheers, it's nearly beer o'clock.

Biff said...

What if I choose neither marriage or military, but professional beer drinker instead?
One of two things can happen - I end up married to an ‘ugly’ woman, or I chew my arm off and run for my life.
Any one of those two things is the same as joining the military.