Kid Mai Death Cafe. After I had crawled out of that giant pussy, my 66-year-old guide had me wearing a wig, shades, weighted vest and ankle weights. Handing me a cane, she told me to walk up 12 steps, then down 12 steps.

"That's your life," she concluded. "We all suffer. Did you like it?"

"Not really, but it wasn't that bad. Still, I was just born a few seconds ago!"

"That's life. Now, we go here."