This sickly, hobbling dog lives on my block. At least she's being fed and has three buddies to keep her company. You have to wonder what the healthy dogs must be thinking when they see her coming. Shit, here comes Typhoid Mary again... "How are you doing, Mary? Feeling better today? That's good you're no longer constipated. God bless you."

For some reason, I speak to all Southeast Asian dogs and cats in Vietnamese, in the most familiar tone.