[Sihanoukville, 11/9/23]
To save a few bucks, I booked a room at Zing without a balcony, so denied myself one more pleasure, but it still feels great to be back in Phnom Penh. After getting off the minibus, I took the tuk-tuk for $3 to the Central Market. Seeing its dome from a distance warmed my heart.
Leaving Sihanoukville, I spotted a man wearing this T-shirt, “Apes the Planet Earth,” and this statement inside a cafe, “I’m not cute, I’m not beautiful, I’m not intelligent, but I’m not fake.” Inside the minibus, there were signs telling passengers to wear a mask, keep silent and not eat. All were more or less ignored.
Next to me was a woman in her 70’s. After chatting away with a young woman and a toddler boy, the old lady masked up then went to sleep. Suddenly, the coronavirus had invaded the minibus and her oxygen starved mind. Thus asphyxiated, it’s a miracle she didn’t die, though wheezing and hacking a few times, she sounded ready to go.
Outside, the landscape was the most pristine I had ever seen in Cambodia. Slender, bushy headed palm trees jutted from breaks in rice paddies. A toll road, it had few exits and was inaccessible to all those shops, shacks and Ganzberg beer signs, the last nearly ubiquitous across this land of Angkor. On an ordinary road, it’s not unusual to see two, three or four red, orange and yellow Ganzberg signs at a glance.
Every overpass had a commercial message in Khmer and English, thus we’re urged by an insurance company to “LEAD A HAPPY AND WORRY FREE LIFE.” Panda Commercial Bank asked, “Hey, are you flying or driving?”
Entering Phnom Penh, we were confounded by this context and logo-free statement, “THANKS PEACE.” Thankfully, the corporate crap returned to reassure us we’re still on this blighted earth in 2023. “FULFILL EVERY HAPPINESS AT A PPT STATION.” Nothing beat this, though, from American Standards, “LOVE FINDS JOY IN THE MESS.”
Again, I’m sitting at that lousy cafe I love so much. Sadly, the caffeine wallah is not wearing her Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck shirt, but maybe she’ll do it tomorrow. She can’t have that many outfits. On the way here, I passed restless roosters and a tiny woman carrying a baby. They were one black mass. There was just enough light in the covered alley for wet spots on cracked concrete to shimmer. Sunken manhole covers added jazz to my journey.
Yesterday, I checked out some shanties along the railroad tracks. I had seen so many one week ago, on my way out. It’s striking how close they were to some of Phnom Penh’s most prestigious addresses. Hovels moldered in the shadow of futuristic condos hovering in the smoggy sky. Fifteen yards away, there were also swanky showrooms selling Porsche, Maserati, Lamborghini, McLaren and Aston Martin whips. Within half a mile, any well heeled and discerning asshole could pig out on an $84 rib-eye, $48 tenderloin, $16 burger, Korean BBQ, dim sum or sushi, etc. Tired of such cheap eats, you can head to Kyō Omakase for a proper, 18 course meal, at just $278 a head.
Snooping around, I spotted several children playing on a wooden platform, so I goofed around with them. Kids generally like me, and many dogs, too. Thirsty and sweating, I ducked into a tiny shop to buy a bottle of cold water, but this wide eyed hag promptly chased me away. Looking furious, she even placed a box at her entrance to make sure I couldn’t reenter her life. Whatever, woman. Two shanties away, I was courteously served by a teenage boy who spoke good English without an accent, so I complimented him and got my water.
As in Sihanoukville, skyscrapers have sprouted in Phnom Penh, except here in the capital, all will be completed, as will Takhmao Techo Airport. When finished, it will be one of the world’s finest, and several notches above NYC’s JFK, DC’s Dulles, Chicago’s O’Hare or San Francisco International. Last time I was at JFK, the toilet flush malfunctioned, to it kept overflowing as I escaped from the stall. There was no employee nearby to alert.
It’s the new American standard. Two days ago in South Memphis, a gas station convenenience store was robbed by a mob arriving in at least 30 cars. After they had stolen hundreds of merchandises, a lone cop car showed up 25 minutes later. Perhaps the officer just needed a free jelly donut. Repeatedly robbed, the owner said he was ready to leave town, but where can he go? The entire country has become a lethal shithole.
In the West, there has been much talk about cutting down on commercial flights, with even airports shutting down, all to control humanity’s carbon footprint. There is no evidence of that in East Asia, however, so in Cambodia alone, there are also new airports in Siem Reap and Botum Sakor.
Cambodians are also eating much more beef, pork, chicken and lobster, and many fewer bugs. Maybe they’re conserving crickets, grasshoppers, cockroaches and spiders to export to the USA, Germany, France and Sweden?
Here are the ingredients for a future USA school lunch, “Blatta Orientalist, Sodium Lactate, Sodium Citrate, Lactic Acid, Sorbic Acid, Reconstituted Dog Shit, Drag Queen Juice, Pfizer Whatever, Black Lives Motherfucker and Neo Wokism.”
Much of Cambodia’s recent development has been engineered and/or financed by China, and it makes perfect sense not just economically, but militarily. China needs living space, market and access to the Gulf of Thailand. Cambodia needs roads, airports, seaports, a state of the art stadium and lots of bribes. Cambodian masseurs also need blotchy or blubbery limbs to knead.
For WWIII, American bombs and missiles may just target Chinese infrastructure in Cambodia, but these people have suffered so much already for a century. Hopefully, they can enjoy life and each other for many more years. Resilient, they laugh and smile even in shanties.
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