Hey! Here, you can pay American prices for your kid to be taught English by some random white guy from Krakow, Vladivostok or Tel Aviv! Our teachers have the roundest eyes and largest noses, guaranteed, even if some of them may be retarded or fleeing a felony conviction for possession of child pornography (or worse) in their home country. We don't hire dubious clowns like Viet Thanh Nguyen or, God forbid, Linh Dinh. Fuck, no! In no time, your kid will be speaking English better than Joe Biden or even Kamala Harris!