Oh, they're here in the Great State of Texas, all right! And their numbers are growing!
They don't have to fly all the way to Thailand to keep Top Ramen in the pantry! No, siree!
Don't ask me HOW these demanding, loud-mouthed, entitled, middle-aged, "tatted," 300 lb., trailer-dwelling gringas manage to pull it off, but—boy-howdy—they somehow DO!
Maybe it's a combination of factors: Texas is a huge international gateway for—well—for whoever the hell FEELS LIKE coming to the U.S., (although I do marvel at just how many newcomers haven't gotten the memo that the U.S. is a "has-been" empire; one they may want to steer clear of, lest they find themselves unable to cross the border in the opposite direction trying to GTFO if the SHTF here. Wouldn't THAT be ironic?) So, there's a potentially vast client base of sorts—albeit a largely destitute one posing "mucho peligro" health risks—but HEY!—Where there are solo, swingin' ding-dongs, there's a way...!
...Especially if Ms. Gringa ThunderLard of border dive town—say, Laredo—is facing yet another three weeks before Uncle Sam squats to "reload" her zero-balance SNAP & TANF debit cards. She's LEARNED how to get CREATIVE in these hyperinflationary, economically-hopeless times when she has run out of gas—and places to hide—her "check-engine-light special" from El Repo Man, the fridge is down to expired mustard and fossilized, leftover Taco Bell, and she's long since traded the toiletries and free bus vouchers the food bank gave her with her neighbor for a couple weak Vicodin tablets. (Took the edge off the afternoon her mobile phone service was cut off for non-payment, y'know...)
Again, I don't know how she pulls it off—especially when you consider most of the female, Latina persuasion is feminine, attractive, and often even athletic (before they inevitably explode with diabetes in their late 20's)—but ThunderLard draws a veritable stampede of "Sanchos" taking numbers to roll her in flour! And, believe you me, ol' Gringa ThunderLard knows how to turn, "¡Sí, señor!" into a stocked fridge, phone service reconnection, or a car note payment, honey! Thailand? Nah! She's gotten GOOD at hawking her wares at Skeeter-Bob's local pool hall, the truck stop motel, and the Home Depot parking lot. She's even picked up some conversational Haitian Creole, French Congolese, and Somali... Win-win, right?
Right here in the good, ol' Yoo Ess of A...🤣
Much love to you, Linh! I love your "seedy-side-of-existence" posts from around the world!
Love, Cindy
2 comments:
Well done. ,,,,,,,,and more please…
Cindy!
Meet yoo at Devil's Backbone
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