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I was sitting outside the Lehigh County Emergency Management building, when this gentleman approached, "You're pretty good with that?" Meaning my camera.

"I'm OK."

"How would you like to become a Presidential Photographer?"

"A what?!"

"A Presidential Photographer."

"What do you mean?"

"You can take pictures of me. I'm going to be the President of the United States of America in 2016."

"2016?! Why 2016? Why not now? Why aren't you running this time?"

"I'll give them four more years to screw it up, then I'll run in 2016, as a Democrat."

He had been speaking with a straight face this whole time. I waited to see if he would crack up, as in, "Hey man, I'm just fuckin' with you. Have a good day!" But the man just stared at me, so I asked, "Hey, so who do you think will win this time?

"Well, it's a little complicated. It's like Obama has the ball, see, and he's at the five-yard-line, but he'll drop the ball, then Romney will pick it up and run in for a touch down!"

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Obama will say something really stupid just before the election to give Romney the victory. It's like a horse race, you see, the horse that's in front right now will drop back just before the finish, so Romney will win!"

"Uh, so tell me about your plan. What will you do as President."

"I'll be a bachelor president, but I'll still have a First Lady, an African-American First Lady. Her name is Patricia. She lives on Walnut Street."

"But why bother with a First Lady if you're going to be a bachelor president? You should just stay as you are and get all the women, you know what I mean?"

"No, but I need the black vote. That's why I'll have an African-American First Lady. I will rule for eight years, and my progeny will rule for 96 years."

He also told me about "Fluffy," his secretary, and gave me her phone number. He even invited me to Maingate, a local disco, for a rally in his honor, "Tom Cruise will be there. Janet Jackson too. And Kid Rock. Just tell the door guy you're my guest."

He greeted a suited woman, about 40, walking by, but she only grinned, so I asked, "You know her?"

"No."



[See also this and this.]



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